Post interview trauma

Writing is from 06-19-2018 (published on later date)

Almost a month has passed since the job was posted online. I had a phone interview two weeks ago, and today, I had a full day on-site interview at SanDisk.

An onsite visit is usually scheduled for 5-6 hours in most companies. Mine was scheduled from 12pm till 5pm. So, I knew it was going to be grueling and excruciatingly stressful. 

So, how did it turn out? I would like to think it went alright today.

I am not a person that enjoys interviews. But without being in one, no one can have a job. So, as painful as it is, there is also no alternative to it.

My meeting started with a lunch - in a conference room, with a senior director of the group I was interviewing for. I must say a lunch interview was a pretty bad idea. Because talking and chewing don't go together very well. Between my interviewer and I, we took turns to chew, and then to talk. I tried to avoid talking while chewing but there would be a very awkward moment of silence between a question and an answer. So, to break the silence, sometimes I spoke with tuna fish salad in my mouth. 

What was more awkward, I don't know.

At 1 p.m., it was time for a new interviewer. This was supposed to be more technical, and the guy would be eventually training the new hire, Which I came to know while talking to him. That meant his feedback probably carried more "heavy" weight with the hiring manager. I could tell he wasn't directly making eye contact with me. But he asked few challenging technical questions.  I would like to think I performed decently with him as well.

The third interview was with the hiring manager. It turned out to be HR type interview with him. One of things he spent great deal of time explaining was the nature of the job. I tried to make a point that my background was suitable for the position, and anything new I was willing to learn.

After that, I had three more interviews. And they were all technical. 

For the last two, I ran out of gas. I dried up and felt like my head was about to explode. I managed to ride it through and do my best. I don't think I disappointed anyone with my effort.

The last interview went 15 minutes longer. I was out of there by 5:20pm.

Overall, I have a very mixed feeling about this interview. It is not so much about how well I did or didn't do. 

During the interview, I think I had enough "bright spot" moments to feel good later. But as I drove out of the parking lot, into the freeway, towards home, I didn't want to be happy. I didn't know how to feel about the interview. Everything feels so weird and, even while writing this post, I still can't identify my own feelings and what it is trying to say to me.

Do I need a job? Yes, off course. Do I want a job? Yes, I do. Is it the right job? Yes, it is. So, what's going on?